Chasing The Fluency god

Confirmation of what I already knew!

2010-02-12T00:02:00.005-05:00

This big FUCK YOU goes out to anyone who ever tried to tell me that stuttering was psychological!

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/02/10/stuttering.genes.cell/index.html

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T23:22:00.002-04:00

Things I enjoy about Halloween:

1) Taking my daughter trick-or-treating and appreciating every second of it. I realize there are only a few years in her life she will want to trick-or-treat with her father.

2) Pumpkin spice latte's at Starbucks

3) Burt's Pumpkin Farm (although we missed our visit this year).

4) Charlotte's annual Halloween party

Things I don't enjoy about Halloween:

1) The Company potluck Halloween lunch. I am against any activity at work that calls for me to bring food for others to eat, or that requires me to eat food that others have made. I have gotten very good at making a stealth exit from the building while everyone else is stirring around trying to heat up their food.

2) Adults dressing up in costumes - especially at work. I have trouble having a serious conversation with the portly, 50-ish manager of our claims department when she is dressed up as 1973-era Cher.

3) The redneck group in our neighborhood that pulls along a wagon of beer and wine while they take their children trick-or-treating.

4) Handing out halloween candy. Thankfully Staci takes this chore while I take Charlotte trick-or-treating. There are 2 things that make me feel creepy and inappropriate - giving candy to strange children and paying high school cheerleaders to wash my car in the Wendy's parking lot.

Opening Day!

2009-04-05T01:07:00.002-04:00

To celebrate the long-awaited start of baseball season, this video is for my friend and fellow pfsp-er Dan(and the only Milwaukee Brewer fan I know):

Frozen Daze

2009-01-25T16:44:00.004-05:00

As the picture indicates, things are pretty routine around here. However my friend Dan, who I have been going to Refreshers with for 11 years, is off on another trip to Antarctica. I look forward to reading about his adventures.

W and Reading

2009-01-06T23:30:00.003-05:00

I am not the biggest fan of George W, but I thought this was an interesting article that a friend emailed to me today.

I probably read 20-25 books a year. Quite a few are about baseball, but I try to mix in various historical and self-help books. On his radio show, Dave Ramsey often throws out the factoid that "the average millionaire reads 12 non-fiction books per year." I believe he got that from The Millionaire Next Door, one of my all time favorite books. Some books I start and I never finish (the Bill Clinton biography - I did not like how it ended with him leaving office).

Happy New Year!

2009-01-04T23:32:00.002-05:00

A belated Happy New Year! Since almost being crushed to death in a crowd at Underground Atlanta on New Year's eve 1989 (hey Kurt!), I have never been a big fan of the actual New Year's "Holiday". In fact I spent most of New Year's eve and New Years day last week watching Lost season 4 on DVD.

What I like to do as the year changes is reassess my life goals and determine what actions I need to take in the next 12 months. I consider this a little bit different from resolutions. My standard life goals are as follows (in no particular order):

* Become more fluent
* Become a better father
* Become a better husband
* Continue to develop spiritually
* Increase my income 20%

The specific goals I set for the next year pretty much all relate to the above 5 life goals. For example, for fluency, I am already planning on attending a Refresher in last May. I called Dan last week and reminded him he is coming with me. I also have smaller goals that relate to that, such as working on my PFSP practice CD's at set times (usually before work meetings and on my way to Small Group).

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T13:19:00.002-05:00

I look forward to a Christmas Eve of drinking reduced fat eggnog and coconut rum while being Santa's helper. To celebrate the season, enjoy this video of Mandy Miller performing at Buckhead Church last Easter:

Deltalina

2008-12-19T00:27:00.002-05:00

Good packing tips from Deltalina.

Airline Fees

2008-12-06T02:19:00.005-05:00

AirTran's CFO Arne Haak recently made the following statement in regards to the airline's new $15 first checked bag fee:

“Really what is happening is an unbundling of the services. … That’s how customers respond. Our customers will spend three hours on the Internet figuring out how to save $8 when they buy an airplane ticket. Then they’re going to come to the airport and spend $20 to buy a soda, a bag of chips, a candy bar and a magazine that they could have bought for half the price.”

As much as I pride myself on being cheap, I often do exactly as Haak describes. I will undergo extensive research to not spend a dime more on airfare, hotels and cars than I have too, but I don't think I can spend 15 minutes waiting in a airport terminal without "having" to buy some sort of overpriced item (and not think twice about it).

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T12:23:00.001-05:00

Carnival Victory

2008-11-24T23:39:00.003-05:00

Our family vacation fund generally consists of whatever extra money we come across that we did not include in our monthly budget. Loose change, rebate checks, fat wallet cash, small group babysitting reimbursement, etc. Like Dave Ramsey says, the best vacation is one where the bill does not follow you home.

Last week during lunch I headed to the credit union with my latest contribution - a plastic box full of change. I poured it into the machine and the total came to $182. That gave us enough in our vacation account to book 3 tickets on the Carnival Victory in March. Leaving out of one of my favorite cities - San Juan - we will spend the next week stopping in St. Thomas, Dominica, Barbados, St. Lucia, Antigua and St. Kitts before heading back to San Juan.

This will be the 4th cruise that Staci, Charlotte and I have gone on. We love cruises as there is always something for everyone to do. I also get a lot of good transfer opportunities as you are always meeting other people. One of my favorite cruise memories was on our last cruise.

One morning Charlotte and I went down to eat breakfast by ourselves wearing our Seattle Mariner Ichiro jerseys. We were seated with 2 older snowbird retired couples. Commenting on our jerseys led to a discussion about baseball. Both couples were big baseball fans and they started telling me all of these wonderful stories about baseball in New York in the 50's. I could have listened to their baseball stories all day, but after my omelet was finished, we had to excuse ourselves and take a very patient Charlotte to the Carvinal kid's club.

Pistol Pete Maravich

2008-11-22T00:34:00.002-05:00

I just finished reading Pistol - The Life Of Pete Maravich, about the great basketball player whose creative and flamboyant style was truly 15 years ahead of his time. I did not become a basketball fan until the year after the Atlanta Hawks traded Pete to the New Orleans Jazz. I vaguely recall watching him play with the Jazz and Celtics during the rest of his career. The video below is definitely worth watching:

The Belt Rack

2008-11-14T10:33:00.002-05:00

Shameless plug for the family business - for all of your leather shopping needs, please visit:

www.thebeltrack.com

Staci just spent a lot of time building the website. She used a hat model who works for goldfish crackers and yogurt.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T22:35:00.002-04:00

Support Network

2008-10-14T23:43:00.002-04:00

A reader (one of the few who get lost and find themselves on here) left some good questions on a previous post:

I enjoyed reading your article, it was very inspiring! As a student working in the field of speech-language pathology I wanted to ask you if your family and friends were supportive during your therapy process as well as fighting your battles with stuttering as you grew older. Did you seem alone at times?

With the exception of my grandmother and my aunt, I never got much support in my life in regards to my stuttering or my therapy (or any other part of my life for that matter). In fact, whatever the opposite of supportive is, that is how I would describe my mother. A quick example - when I was growing up, my mother would often tell me that my stuttering was some sort of divine punishment for whatever perceived transgression that I had committed. Nice parenting!

Partly because you get to choose your friends, I have been fortunate to have had supportive people around me. I have a friend (whose identity I will protect and call "Murt") who works for a mapping company. In 1995, a few weeks before I headed off to the 3-week PFSP program, I received a package in the mail from Murt. Inside the package were maps for the Norfolk/Virginia Beach area that Murt had sent me. That was a simple gesture on his part - maybe taking 5 minutes of his time one day to throw some maps in a package and mail to - but it meant a great deal to me. In fact, I still throw that stupid 1995 Norfolk road map into my backpack before I head off to a Refresher.

Before I met and married my wife, the closest thing to a family I had at that time were my friends the "Fuglars" (another fake name). Once again, I am sure they did not think twice about it, but whenever I would go to Norfolk for the initial therapy or Refreshers in subsequent years, they were always very supportive of what I was doing. Simple things like calling me and checking on me while I was there and having me over to their house when I got back were simple actions that were huge to me, and made me feel like someone actually gave a f**k about me and my life.

My wife Staci (and her parents)have always been uber-supportive of me and my obsessive desire to attend a Refresher every year. The question is never "are you going to a Refresher this year", but "when is your Refresher". One year, I went to a Refresher 1 week after Staci had major surgery (her parents stayed with her while I was gone). Another year while I was gone, she redecorated my home office. One year we did not have the money for me to go, so her dad gave me the therapy fee as an early Christmas gift. I have seen too many people in the PFSP program whose spouses were not supportive, so I have always recognized how fortunate I am.

Satchel Paige's Rule For Successful Living

2008-10-04T00:07:00.002-04:00

1 - Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.

2 - If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.

3 - Keep your juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.

4 - Go very gently on the vices such as carrying on in society - the social ramble ain't restful.

5 - Avoid running at all times.

6 - Don't look back, something might be gaining on you.

Pivotal Circumstances

2008-09-28T23:30:00.003-04:00

Last Sunday, Andy Stanley at Northpoint Community Church finished the 5 part series titled Five Things God Uses To Grow Your Faith. Our Small Group is also doing a study based upon the series. Part 5 of the series - Pivotal Circumstances - really spoke to me and my life dealing with stuttering. When I discuss the subject with people today, I often will tell them how my stuttering has been a Blessing from God. Often, people have a hard time seeing why I think it is such a Blessing.

When I was younger - mainly before my PFSP therapy - I would often ask God why stuttering had to be the cross I had to bear in life. At times I would be very angry about it, but mainly during that stage of my life, I tried to pretend it was not an issue or problem.

After I first went through the PFSP program in '95, I felt as if I had been reborn. Due to my success with the program, all of a sudden my life was filled with Blessings and an empowerment I had never dreamed of before. However, as my pre-therapy life was very faith-driven - my life in the first few years after therapy was not.

When I met and married Staci a few years later, I started making some connections between my stuttering and it being a Blessing from God. As she often blogs about, my wife is extremely bi-polar. I don't know what it is like to be bi-polar, and Staci does not know what it is like to stutter, but we both know what it is like to wake up everyday with this "thing" in your life that you have to work dilligently to control so that it does not control you. I think Staci and I both needed to be with someone who understood what it was like to have that "thing" in your life.

The other piece of the connection is that after many years, I realized that my life has turned out much better because I stutter than it would have I have been naturally fluent. A few specific examples:

> I don't know if I would have had the motivation to start and/or finish college. I finally realized I needed a college degree if I was ever going to have a decent job. I was the first person of my immediate family who graduated from college (and I am proud to say that my oldest cousin - with a little encouragement from me - graduated from college a few years after I did).

> If I made a short list of the made who have meant the most to me in my life, 4 of the names would be people associated with the program (3 who I see every year and 1 who was in my original 3-week group).

> Even though my fluency is a continuing work-in-progress, the knowledge of how far I have come is extremely powerful. There are so many times when I see people so discouraged about something relatively trivial that has gone wrong in their lives. Small problems don't tend to phase me anymore.

> There are (many) times when being fluent and executing nearly perfect targets is extremely euphoric.

There was a lot of pain and frustration associated with my stuttering, but not for a second would I give up that pain and frustration if I also had to give up the experiences mentioned above. This has grown my faith in God in that it made me realize that His long-term plan for my life was much better than any short-term plan I may have had.

Joe Biden is one of us!

2008-09-15T01:26:00.003-04:00

I never knew Joe Biden was in the blessed 1% of the population when he was younger.

Hurricane Felix (1995)

2008-09-13T02:28:00.004-04:00

It is 2:30 in the morning and I am up watching CNN's coverage of Hurricane Ike. I have an odd fascination with hurricanes. I certainly don't like to see anyone harmed, but I will always watch as much hurricane coverage as I can.

My hurricane fascination started in August of 1995, when I went to my 3 week PFSP program at the EVMS, Hurricane Felix was forming and moving across the Atlantic. During the 2nd week of the program, the hurricane's projected path had it hitting Virginia Beach. There was serious concern that downtown Norfolk would be flooded. The other patients in the program were completely freaked out and ready to leave town. I told everyone it took me too long to get there, and I was not about to leave. Somehow that argument convinced everyone else to stay.

The day before Felix was due to hit, Norfolk looked like a ghost town by sundown. Virginia Beach had been evacuated and many Norfolkians had left the area as well. After dinner that evening, and a few frosty cold adult beverages, me and 2 other patients in the program came up with the idea that we should drive out to Virginia Beach. After making the short drive out there and rearranging some police tape; we parked the car and headed out to the beach.

The sight on the beach was definitely worth the trip. The sky was pitch black dark and the waves were huge. We were having a great time taking pictures when we were interrupted by the fine officers of the Virginia Beach police force. This was early in the 2nd week of therapy, and away from the clinic, we were still using the disfluent speech patterns we had arrived in Norfolk with. The police started asking us why we were there when all 3 of us started answering in a constant barrage of stuttered speech. After a few minutes of this, the police officer seemed relieved to let us walk back to our car with a warning and the promise that we would leave VBC and head back to Norfolk.

The next day Felix stalled in the Atlantic before heading up the coast to the northeast (possibly to do some whale watching in Maine). We ended up only missing 1 day of therapy in the clinic.

Bob Barr in '08!

2008-09-12T22:21:00.005-04:00

I think the Paris Hilton video is funnier, but Gina Gershon in a bikini and wearing glasses is too awesome for words.

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Bad Week at Work

2008-09-10T23:46:00.002-04:00

I am having a pretty lousy week at work. For the last few months, we were in a bidding process for a huge contract which would double the size of our Company. Now it appears that we won't get the contract. My boss has decided in a very Dilbert-esqe manner to take his disappointment out on the senior management team - especially yours truly. The other day another manager and I were discussing the situation when she asked me if I had thought to ask myself why the Company had 5 Controllers in the last 5 years and why my 18-month tenure has been the longest of any Controller employed there this century. I had not.

What I am happy about is that through this situation, I have put my speech and fluency first. What I mean by that is that in the past it has been easier for me to monitor targets and be fluent when things are going well. However during times of adversity, my concentration drifts away from my targets and my fluency suffers. I am very excited that is not happening right now.

Enough of the old white people crowd shots

2008-09-03T23:18:00.004-04:00

Let me start this by saying that I am a card carrying libertarian. I loved Reagan and Clinton for the inspiration they gave me. However, my political philosophy is that government should stay out of my life and be as unobtrusive as possible. Nobody is Washington to going to fix my life.

Mercifully, the Sarah Palin speech is over. Granted, she is a 40-something hottie, but the crowd shots of all of the old white people (combined with the recurring shot of the 1 black guy in the audience) was enough to make my head hurt.

IPOD Shuffle

2008-08-06T16:15:00.003-04:00

I have accepted the fact that I have lost my beloved generation one IPOD shuffle.

The last time I remember having it was during my flight home from my PFSP Refresher in early June. On the flight, there was a couple (probably in their 50's) sitting next to me, who from the moment I heard them walking down the aisle were complaining about their flying experience. It sounded like they had not flown much in the post 9-11 era. Apparently, they were expecting much more luxury from their AirTran coach ticket (which I am sure cost them less than $200).

Ordinarily, right after a Refresher, I take the opportunity to talk with anyone who will listen to me so that I can work on my speech targets. However, in this case, I wanted no part of talking with these people. Nor, did I want to hear them complain about how much nicer it was to fly in the 70's. So I quickly pulled out my IPOD and put my ear buds in and had a peaceful flight back to Atlanta.

Financially, I can replace the shuffle for very little - I believe a new generation 2 goes for less than $50. However, this IPOD was very special to me as Staci and Charlotte gave it to me for my first Father's Day a few years ago.

Coulrophobia

2008-08-05T23:32:00.003-04:00

As if stuttering has not always been enough of a pain in the ass, I am also coulrophobic. Coulrophobic, of course, is the fear of clowns. Everybody who knows me is well aware of issues with clowns. I won't get into my story about the girl I dated in college who I found out later was a clown, as many of my friends (and my wife) already know the story and love to remind me of it every chance they get. But, I have never gone so far as to join an anti-clown forum, or purchase merchandise which advertises my issues with clowns.

I never really knew why clowns freaked me out so much until last weekend. I was sitting in a theatre watching Health Ledger's awesome performance of the Joker in the Dark Knight and it hit me. When I was in the 1st grade, I would watch that lame 60's version of Batman starring Adam West. Cesar Romero played a very gay version of the Joker in the series. I went through a phase at that time where I would have a recurring dream that Cesar Romero's joker was holding me hostage in family's attic. Now I remember how and when my phobia of clowns started.

A few months ago, I picked Charlotte up from Waumba Land at our Church and she told me what she wanted to be when she grows up. Of course, she wants to be a clown. God has an excellent sense of humor.

Annie Glenn

2008-08-03T22:49:00.003-04:00

Annie Glenn, wife of John Glenn, went through the program at Hollins many years ago. This is a good video of her and Senator Glenn discussing the program.

AirTran Financial Woes

2008-07-29T13:46:00.006-04:00

Since their days flying under the ill-fated ValuJet name, I have always been a fan of AirTran. I don't travel a great deal - usually 1 trip up to Norfolk every year for a Refresher and 1 or 2 family vacations per year. However, I am very interested in the science of traveling as cheaply as possible. As I have mentioned before, I love Priceline and Bidding for Travel. The cheaper I can pay to travel somewhere, the more often I am able to travel.

During an investor conference call this morning, AirTran CFO Arne Haak disclosed plans to shrink the Atlanta hub and move their focus away from"lower-yielding leisure customer". This is unfortunate news for cheap travelers like myself, but it does make financial sense for AirTran. I spend less money now on a flight to the Newport News/Norfolk area for a Refresher than I did in 1995. Cheap AirTran flights out of Atlanta were a good thing while they lasted.

1995

2008-07-24T23:03:00.003-04:00

1995 was a great year!

In October, David Justice hit a home run in game 6 of the World Series to give the Atlanta Braves their only World Series championship. As it looks to be a 3rd straight year of no postseason for the Braves, the memory of that season gets more special as time goes on.

August of '95 was when I went through the 3-week PFSP program at the Eastern Virginia Medical School. As I will often tell anyone who will listen (and has not heard me say it 1,000,000 times), those 3 weeks completely changed my life.

This morning I was in the middle of a very hectic day of work when I received a phone call from someone whom I had gone through the 3-week program with. We became very good friends during the program and stayed in touch for the next few years after that. However, this was probably the first conversation we have had in 9 years. We quickly caught each other up on what we had been doing since we had last spoke and then got on the subject of how our speech has been. We were both very happy with where we were in regards to our speech. She then said something that really made my day. She told me that "that 3 weeks was probably the best thing (she) had ever done for (herself)." I thought that was such a brilliant and concise statement. I have never been able to describe the experience better than that.

5 Years

2008-06-19T23:19:00.002-04:00

I am kicking around the idea of a HUGE life change. This life change would require an initial time investment of about 5 years to get started. Yesterday, I was thinking about how long 5 years really is. Then it occurred to me, that 5 years ago this weekend was one of the most event-filled weekends of my life.

The weekend started on Thursday night as I was driving home from work and was involved in a major 3-car accident. Friday morning our beloved dog died. Saturday, my wife's grandmother died. Sunday, our daughter was conceived. It is hard to believe all of that happened 5 years ago.

How To Get Out Of A Family Christmas Party

2007-12-13T11:32:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, my daughter and wife went to a family Christmas party in Birmingham while I got to stay home. Why was I not there?

Two years ago, we were at the same Christmas party (my wife's aunt) and as we were leaving, someone was doing something to my daughter (ticking her, maybe?) and my wife's aunt said "don't do that to her, she will start stuttering, too". Out of respect for my wife and her parents, I did not say a work and just continued to leave. Needless to say, I have avoided this annual event since then.

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be at times.

120 Rule

2007-03-06T00:08:00.000-05:00

In my last few posts I have discussed the series of interviews I have had recently with one company. My last interview for the position was today, as I met with their external CPA. From all indications, it sounds like I am their top candidate for the position. It appears they are ready to make a move and a job offer could be coming soon.

When I consider changing jobs, I have what I call my "120 Rule". The 120 Rule means that the new job needs to pay at least 120% of the current job in order for me to consider the move. In my career I have always had the fortune/misfortune of knowing the salaries of everyone in the Accounting/Finance area. This has usually been due to my job responsibilities (payroll, budgeting, etc.). I learned early on that salaries are more a function of when someone joins a company and how they negotiate salary when they join, as opposed to other factors.

Though the series of interviews have gone well, my speech has pretty much been lousy the past week. The worst was Friday afternoon as our department celebrated the filing of our 10-K by leaving work early and having a few drinks. I usually have more trouble with fluency in loud restaurants (I have trouble with the background noise), but this was the worse it had been in a while. I spent the weekend putting more focus and attention to my targets.

Marathon Interview Follow-up

2007-02-26T16:48:00.000-05:00

I survived my morning of fun on Saturday. The first interview out of the gate was with a high-level VP/Sales guy who wanted to try to beat me up a little because of the number of jobs (5 in 9 years) on my resume. I withstood his attacks pretty well, even getting a couple of good counter-punches in. After that, the questions became easier as he was the only one who came at me all morning with a negative agenda.

Halfway through the second interview at around 8:45, I got tired and started to struggle with my fluency. I pulled myself together and was able to stay pretty much on track the rest of the morning. The last 2 interviews were done over the phone and before I knew it, the last interview ended at 11:45 and I was finished.

The next day I woke up with a very sore chest - a sign that I had been using the full breath target extensively the morning before. The Company is supposed to make a decision this week on who to offer to position too, but at this point, I am not really concerned about that. I felt like I gave it my best effort and did everything I could do. If it is meant to happen then it will, if not, then something better will come up. I learned a long time ago, that God's plan for my life is a lot better than my plan.

Marathon Interview

2007-02-23T23:27:00.000-05:00

Last week I mentioned an interview I had gone on where the CEO asked me about my stuttering. I was supposed to have a follow-up interview this week, but I could not get away from my current job, so I called my recruiter and told him I was passing on the opportunity.

I thought that was the end of that, but on Thursday, the company asked if I wanted to come in on Saturday for the follow-up interview. I agreed, so between 8 and 11:30 AM tomorrow, I have 7 separate 30 minute interviews scheduled with this company. 3 of the interviews are with people I would be managing - the other 4 are with managers of other areas of the company. I know some of these people can't be happy about having to come in on Saturday to interview some yahoo for the Controller position.

My speech has been pretty lousy this week, mainly from a total lack of focus and concentration on my targets. This evening I have been putting extra effort into monitoring my targets, as I will in the morning. I have been on enough interviews the past few months, that I have my answers and sales pitches down pretty well, so that should allow me to focus more on my targets than trying to come up with an answer to a question.

This should be an interesting experience.

Honest Interview Question

2007-02-17T09:54:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned before, I am currently in the process of exploring other employment opportunities. Friday morning I was being interviewed for the Controller position at a small healthcare support company. As we closed the interview the CEO told me that I had really made an impression on him and that he wanted me to come back next week to interview with others in the Company, but he said he wanted to ask me one more question before we closed.

He asked me if I felt my speech would have an impact on how I performed the job. I was not expecting that question but I was able to give a good answer as it opened the door for me to sale my history of overcoming my stuttering as an asset, as opposed to a liability. The discussion of my stuttering up front also opened the door, for in the case that I am offered the position, it will be easier for me to include time off and having the Company pay for my PFSP Refreshers in the salary and compensation negotiations.

During job interviews my speech is usually pretty good - no major blocks, mainly some class IV issues, but it is still obvious that I am a stutterer. I am sure the question that this interviewer asked crosses the mind of others, but for whatever reason, they don't ask. But it was a nice change to have someone actually ask me an honest interview question.

Daddy Daughter Breakfast

2007-02-07T00:28:00.000-05:00

Even though I missed Small Group and did not get home tonight until 10 pm (after spending 12 hours in meetings at work), I had a very good day. The reason I had a good day is that this morning my daughter's Montessori class had a special daddy and child breakfast. I got to take the little one to school, have breakfast with her and have her show me some of the work she is currently involved in.

Even though we were running late this morning, on the short drive to school, I popped in my PFSP CD and worked on a little full breath practice. I wanted to be prepared for having to introduce myself to the other fathers, but as luck would have it, I spent the hour talking exclusively to my daughter and her teacher. It never hurts to be prepared, though.

New Cell Phones!

2007-02-05T14:41:00.000-05:00

After a long week of waiting, Novelchick and I finally received our new cell phones last Thursday. In August of 1995, shortly after I got home from my initial 3 weeks of therapy in the Precision Fluency Shaping Program in Norfolk, VA, one of the first things I did was to go out and purchase my very first cell phone. My first cell phone was roughly the size and weight of a cement block and my first plan allowed for 60 minutes of talk time per month. Cell phones have gotten much smaller since then (Novelchick is convinced it is only a matter time before I lose my new Motorola) and the plans now allow for much more talk time for the same money. The only constant in that time has been how completely lost I feel if I don’t have my cell phone with me at all times.

Voicemail

2007-01-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

In a recent posting on Yahoo finance, Penelope Trunk wrote that you should generally try to avoid voicemail, essentially for efficiency reasons. She makes a good point, often I find myself at work using voicemail only because I want the transfer experience.

Pray Big!

2007-01-18T12:55:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, Andy Stanley at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA gave an excellent message titled "Asking Big" regarding having big prayers. I do not know what my big prayer is in regards to stuttering.

What are you working on big?

ISAD Conference 9

2007-01-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

Every October, Minnesota State University, Makato hosts the International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD) Online Conference. I always find some interesting reading in all of the stories and papers presented.

Other Ways to Blow an Interview

2007-01-05T13:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, MSN had an article discussing things not to do in an interview. For that lucky 1% of us, stuttering could also be on that list. In my 9 year professional career, I have had 6 different accounting jobs (though only 2 jobs in the last 5 1/2 years), so I have a good bit of experience in job interviews.

In this time, I believe I have developed a good approach to job interviews. In the days leading up to an interview, I try to really focus on monitoring my best targets. In the morning and on the way to an interview, I will really key-in on monitoring my full breath target. In the 30 minutes before the interview, I will sit in my car and do my PFSP CD. I will get into the interview and then do really well for about 20-30 minutes. After that I tend to get tired and my fluency falls off, so I try really hard to sale myself earlier in the interview as opposed to later.

When I am pursuing a new job, I go through a lot of interviews. I don't really (nor do I care to know) how big a role my stuttering plays in the positions that I am not considered for after I interview. During one interview I was doing really well and then missed one class IV sound and the interviewer looked at my like I had just spontaneously burst into flames. He was clearly rattled after that and started asking questions which made no sense.

Earlier I mentioned my prep for an interview; one time I woke up late (imagine that?), and barely made it to the interview on time and did not have a chance to prepare as I normally do. I have never been less fluent during an interview in my life. My speech was awful and I got so distracted by that, I started giving really bad answers and doing lame things like word substitutions. The interview got so bad that halfway through I was tempted to just end it early and excuse myself. However, a few days after the interview mercifully ended, I was called and offered the position (on the same morning I was downsized from my then-current position). It is funny how things work out sometimes.

Antarctica

2006-11-30T11:04:00.000-05:00

It has been 5+ months since my last post, but I thought I would try to ease back into this.

I have been going to Refreshers with my friend Dan for 8 years. He is currently in meteorology grad school at Ohio State. He left last Sunday on a trip to Antarctica to do something meteorology type stuff. He has set-up a blog for the trip.

Refresher time

2006-06-22T17:30:00.000-04:00

I am leaving Saturday morning for my annual Refresher at the PFSP at the Eastern Virginia Medical School. I will be meeting my friend Dan in Baltimore (who is driving down from Ohio) and we will then drive down to Norfolk.

I obsessively look forward to this every year. I love fine-tuning my speech, and even though I am unable to maintain the near perfect fluency I have on the Friday I come home, every year my speech shows a consistent improvement from where it was at that time the previous year.

What I don't enjoy is leaving Novelchick and the little one for the entire week. The first 2 years we were together, Novelchick would come with me, but for the last few years that has not really been viable for a variety of reasons. I am very grateful that my wife is so tremendously supportive of me in this. There are many reasons why I love her, but this is certainly on the list.

Curious George

2006-06-15T17:41:00.000-04:00

I have always been a big Curious George fan. My home office is filled with items either relating to baseball or Curious George. After plenty of encouragement the last 2 years, the little one has finally given in to the allure of "Monkey George" as she calls him. She now asks to be read a Monkey George story every night at bedtime.

Reading to her every night is excellent practice for me to transfer my targets. I could easily read the stories fluently (except for some class IV's) without targets, however I have been trying my best to make sure that I am monitoring targets while I read. She is off to visit the Grandparents for a few days, so I guess if I really want to practice, I could read Curious George stories to the cats.

If I am not available, sometimes Novelchick will read to her. It is quite funny to listen to my wife make some of the Curious George stories more politically correct. Most of the stories of written by the Rey's in the 40's as they were fleeing from the Nazi's. George being sent to prison, smoking a pipe after a meal and his kidnapping from the African jungle are examples of some of the stories details which are changed in Novelchick's interpretations.

Movie Night

2006-06-13T17:30:00.000-04:00

Since our "unofficial" Northpoint Community Group wrapped up Beth Moore last week and disbanded, Novelchick (who currently has a great post on her blog about our attempts to de-clutter our house) and I took the opportunity of having a night of arranged babysitting to go to the movies and see The DaVinci Code. As we had the book, we both enjoyed the movie a great deal. Irregardless of what you think of the fiction aspect of the book, (and I do generally love conspiracy theories), the book and the movie seemed to have generated some healthy debate regarding Christianity and the Bible, which certainly cannot be a bad thing.

Going to the movies, made me think that is another transfer opportunity that might be eliminated if you are not careful. Most big theatres have the ticket kiosk now where you can either order online and pick it up at the machine, or just purchase your tickets there. Usually the ticket kiosk line is shorter than the line to buy from a real person, but last night there was no wait in the regular line, so I had the opportunity to pick-up a transfer there. Talking to the person behind the glass who is using a microphone to respond always make a transfer challenging for me, so it is generally a good opportunity whenever the situation presents itself.

Seattle

2006-06-06T13:14:00.000-04:00

I did not post anything last week as Novelchick, the little one and myself were in Seattle on vacation. Everyone had a great time going to Pike Place Market, the Zoo, the Children's Museum, the Tiny Tot Symphony, the Salish Lodge for breakfast, Alki Beach, a folklife festival and a Mariners game (where the little one and I wore our new Ichiro jerseys). We flew there using our Air Tran credits from last year's Wendy's/AirTran promotion and we got some great deals on Priceline to stay at the Westin and Hotel Monaco (where they sent Henry to Goldfish up to our room to stay with us during our visit).

Overall, my speech was not as sharp the whole week as I would have wanted as I became so focused on all of the details of getting ready for the trip itself, I neglected to incorporate any formal practice into my schedule. Thankfully, I leave for my next Refresher in less than 3 weeks.

Eye Exam

2006-05-25T13:05:00.000-04:00

Today, I have to go for my annual eye exam. That reminds me how much I used to hate to do things like eye exams before I went through my PFSP therapy. I would go there and stutter through the whole thing, and if that was not bad enough, I would feel like whomever I was talking too was feeling sorry for me. I can't tell you how much I hated feeling like that. Thankfully, those days are long gone.

Speaking of eye exams, a few weeks ago Novelchick got new glasses, giving up her sexy Lisa Loeb-style glasses. Though, Novelchick is still plenty hot, with or without glasses.

Pagoclone and The One-Armed Guy

2006-05-24T15:44:00.000-04:00

This morning, Indevus Pharmaceuticals issued a press release and hosted a conference call to discuss the phase II results of their Pagoclone testing. Tom Weidig has been discussing this drug for quite some time (including the possible sexual side effects) on his Stuttering Brain blog.

Whenever I hear the words pharmaceutical and testing, why is it that I think the one-armed guy from The Fugitive (1993) movie will somehow be involved?

Though I am very happy with the improvements in my speech due to the Precision Fluency Shaping Program, and am not looking for a miracle cure, this is an interesting story to watch.

I Love Baseball

2006-05-18T16:11:00.000-04:00

I Love Baseball. Not like I love Novelchick or the little one, but I have always loved sports - specifically baseball. One of the reasons I have always loved sports is that they are fair. When you are playing a sport, it generally does not matter if you stutter, where you live, how much money you have, who your parents are, or even if you have any. As a stuttering white kid growing up in a black neighborhood with not the most pleasant homelife in the world, sports gave me a chance to feel equal to everyone else and gave me a chance to find commonalities with others, instead of just seeing the differences.

At times, I am reminded that people obviously must like sports for a variety of reasons. Last Friday, the little one and I were at the TED (as we are for every Friday night home game) for the Braves game against the Washington Nationals. The little one was sporting her new Jeff Franceour jersey and showing everyone her mastery of the tomahawk chop. During the game, we are sitting in our seats (left field, 2 rows up), when this young man staggers down the aisle and sits in the seats right in front of us. He looked like Willie Aames from Eight is Enough and Charles in Charge fame and is wearing a red golf shirt 2 sizes too small, jeans and dress shoes. He is also carrying 4 Budweiser bottles - though 3 are apparently empty. He starts shouting at the Nationals leftfielder Alfonso Soriano, specifically concerning Soriano's defensive lapses in the outfield. It was a rather strange scene and after a few minutes of this, this rather bizarre gentleman was escorted away by the ushers. I wonder what it is about sports and baseball that attracts this guy, and made him want to spend his Friday night getting drunk and shouting at a Dominican baseball player about his defensive liabilities in the outfield?

I wonder why Alfonso Soriano-hater-guy-in a tight red shirt likes baseball.

Stuttering, Insurance and Marilyn Monroe

2006-05-12T16:25:00.000-04:00

As most anyone who stutters (or has a spouse or child who stutters knows), many health insurance policies exclude therapy for stuttering. The National Stuttering association has an interesting brochure on their site which may be of use, if you find yourself trying to get your insurance company to pay for your therapy.

When I first went through the 3 weeks of therapy at the Precision Fluency Shaping Program in Norfolk, VA in 1995, I was told by my health insurance company that stuttering was not covered. However, after I attended the program, I kept submitting claim forms for the therapy. I would get a letter declining the claim, and would immediately send another out. After about 9 months of this, I went to the mail one day and found a check from my insurance provider for 80% of the therapy fee. So, I guess the lesson from that is that it is always worth a try.

On a different topic, the other night Novelchick and I were watching The Seven Year Itch on AMC. It is interesting that possibly the most beautiful woman to ever appear in a motion picture stuttered, was bipolar and spent a good part of her career with her weight around 140 pounds and wearing a size 12 dress.

Goodbye Community Group!

2006-05-05T16:58:00.000-04:00

I had a Cinco de Mayo lunch with Dorky Dad this afternoon. Actually, neither one of us realized it was Cinco de Mayo until we got to the restaurant at 11:45 and saw a big tent and crowd in the parking lot.

Dorky Dad and his wife lead our Northpoint Community Group. To make a very long story short, he told me over lunch that the rest of the group had made the decision last Monday to end our group 7 months early - after we finish the current study we are on. The timing of it was a little surprising, but it had been painfully obvious for some time that this was a group that just did not click on a Community Group level.

So, that is one less external transfer opportunity for me for a while. I classify transfer into 2 categories - internal and external. Internal transfer consists of any transfer I have with Novelchick, our daughter or my manager at work. Conversations with these 3 people probably account for 75% of my total time spent talking. External transfer is, of course, time spent talking to everyone else in the world.

Of course it will be great to spend some additional time with Novelchick and the little one on Monday nights.

19 Ounce Pint

2006-04-27T13:31:00.000-04:00

On a personal note - yesterday pretty much sucked. I am starting to have some conflicts between work and home, which resulted last night around 6:30 with me needing to be in 2 places at one time. Unfortunately, at the time that I am writing this, I am unable to do that thing that Hermione does in Harry Potter.

Whenever I get frustrated like this, there is a story I like to remember. Once upon a time, I worked for a chain of drinking establishments (which shall remain nameless). The company's Chief Operating Officer (COO) wanted to add some corporate level staff, but the CEO told him he could only add staff if he cut his beverage costs by 5%. In regards to suppliers and pricing, things were pretty much at a standstill, so it appeared there was not much to be done. Over the next few months, we noticed a trend which culminated in beverage costs reducing approximately 5% from where they started. At this time, the COO asked for his additional staff requests to be approved.

The COO finally explained how he lowered beverage costs 5%. He found a glass which held 19 ounces, but looked identical to a traditional 20 ounce imperial U.K. pint glass. Gradually over the course of these few months, he phased in these new glasses to all of our locations.

I will leave it to you to discuss the ethics of how this was handled, but the story always reminds me that for every problem, somewhere out there is an answer.

Refresher Strategy

2006-04-25T12:52:00.000-04:00

As I have mentioned before, I usually attend a Refresher once per year - usually at the same time of year. This year, I will be attending at the end of June - roughly 2 months away.

I usually come back from a Refresher extremely fluent, as a result of monitoring and executing targets very well. As the year goes on, my fluency tends to decline a bit, as I do not execute my targets as well, nor do I monitor them as often as I should. However, I feel that at the end of every 1 year cycle, my overall fluency is much improved over the year before.

I am fortunate to not only be able to afford the costs of attending the Refresher every year, but to also have a very supportive spouse (Novelchick), who encourages me to do so. My plan has been to keep attending Refreshers every year until A) I am completely fluent through flawless execution and perfect monitoring of targets or B) Ross Barrett retires. I don't know which one will come first.

With that being said, I am trying to close out my "fluency year" on a strong note as I come down this last 2 month stretch. I am in the middle of a very busy time of year at work, so I get the opportunity to transfer with many different people on a daily basis. However, I need to do better job in incorporating some formal practice into my daily routine. That is my objective for the next 2 months.

3 Gifts

2006-04-19T23:15:00.000-04:00

Like most people, I get caught up in the rush of day-to-day life, and forget how wonderful my life is and how incredibly fortunate I am. However, last Friday, I was quickly jolted back into reality.

That morning, I got a call from my "work wife" (who I worked with at a previous job). If you don't know what a work wife is, it is the phrase for that opposite sex co-worker you become good friends with. If you are really smart and wise (like me!), you allow your work wife to become friends with your real wife. For various reasons, I had lost touch with my work wife over the last few months, so I was a little surprised to hear from her. Though more surprised when she told me why she called.

She told me the week before, her husband had a massive heart attack at work and passed away that same afternoon. He was a fairly young man (mid 50's) and not in bad health.

Aside from the obvious feelings of sympathy for my friend and her loss, I was also shaken by another thought. My friend and her husband were married around the same time Novelchick and I were 6 years ago. I wonder if we knew beforehand, exactly how much time we have and when we would die, if we would live our life any differently. I know that if I had of known before our wedding that I would only have 6 years with Novelchick, I think I would have been a lot less inclined to engage in some of the truly stupid fights we have had over the years.

That being said, below is a list of the 3 gifts I thank God for every day of my life:

* Novelchick
* My 2-year old daughter
* My PFSP speech therapy

Quarterly Forecast time

2006-04-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

I have not had a chance to post the past few days, in part because I have been tied up with a project at work. The project involved changing how my company performs it budgeting and forecasting process. Later this afternoon, I will be sending my newly-designed Excel budgeting template to our user group for them to complete.

Approximately 15 seconds after I hit the send button, I expect my phone to start ringing off of the hook. It will probably keep ringing until the deadline for the users to return the templates, at which time, it will be my turn to start calling people and inquire as to why they have not returned their submission. Thanks to our caller ID, I will mainly be leaving voicemail messages.

This is always a really good transfer opportunity for me. In addition, I really enjoy the truly idiotic questions I get from people. Last year, this guy (and not some newbie staff level person, but a VP-level employee) kept calling me and telling me he needed to see the "right numbers." My explanation to him that these were the same numbers we had filed with the SEC and had been audited by a Big 3 accounting firm, was not sufficient as he eventually went to the CFO demanding to be given the "right numbers" on which to base his budget. The CFO eventually told him to quit being a dumbass and give me a budget.

Goodbye Chef!

2006-03-29T17:00:00.000-05:00

I could not let the untimely passing of our beloved Chef pass this past week without a mention. Goodbye Chef, may you rest in peace. Damn you, Super Adventure Club!

What does Chef's unfortunate demise have to do with stuttering. In the last scene of South Park, we see Chef resurrected as Darth Chef,

in an homage to the resurrection of Darth Vader, who of course, was voiced by the coolest stutterer of all time - Mr. James Earl Jones (who I hope is not a dumbass scientologist):

7 days and counting until opening day...

2006-03-27T14:52:00.000-05:00

Last week I came home and found a wonderful package from DHL waiting for me. The package contained my Atlanta Braves tickets and parking passes for the year. As much as I love baseball and the Atlanta Braves, the best part is that I get to take my daughter to games with me.

Two years ago when my daughter was born, my lovely wife told me I could go to as many Braves games as I wanted to that year, if I took the little one with me. For almost every Friday home game that year, I packed up the little one (along with all of her various nesessary items), dressed her in Braves gear and headed off to Turner Field. Last year, she loved to watch all of the people, clap enthusiastically at every play and eat the baked beans at Pete and Skips Barbeque. Though I doubt she will ever enjoy the experience as much I have the last 2 years.

These have also been tremendous transfer opportunities for me, as well. Something about having her with me, attracts people to start conversations with me. Last year we went to a game that I did not have tickets for. While I was standing in line, this nice rural couple comes up to us and asked if we would like the 2 extra tickets they had available. I accepted and then realized the tickets were 9 rows behind home plate. I spent the game fielding questions from the couple about my daughter (yes, I was weary of a possible scam). Another game I had a pack of little girls sit themselves in the empty seats in front of us and alternate questions about my daughter with details of their lives (including a 3-inning explanation on how their father lost his job and they had to move in with their grandmother, but then their father got another job and they are celebrating by going to a Braves game that night and horseback riding tomorrow).

I have always had extra trouble being fluent in situations with a great deal of background noise - resturants, sporting events, Iron Maiden concerts, etc. However, situations like going to Braves games with my daughter have really pushed me to put extra effort into monitoring my targets.

I need a dog?

2006-03-26T00:12:00.000-05:00

Earlier in the week, I received a chain of emails from a stuttering message board in response to a woman who had posted on the board an issue she had about her young son who stuttered. This is one of the responses she received:

Perhaps a dog would help. Stuttering comes from fear and anxiety and some of this is from the response stutters get as listeners get impatient. This causes a snowball effect. The best listener... One that never rushes you... Is a dog.

It never ceases to amaze me the depths of stupidity that some people are able to reach. Whenever we treat stuttering as anything less than a physiological disorder, we are making what is a difficult situation to begin with, that much more challenging. I understand that this happens because people want the easy answer. They want to explain that the stutterers disfluency is a direct result of some psychological shortcoming. That is the easy answer because it provides the easy solution - get a dog, stop being anxious, stop being fearful, etc. If you still stutter, it is your fault because you are not following these easy solutions.

This really hits home with me, as I grew up being told by a family member that my stuttering was a result of 1) something wrong that I did, 2) my punishment for a lack of respect I showed a family member, 3) a result of my self-centered nature, or 4) a combination of the above.

However, if you are smart enough to be reading my blog (and have made it to the 5th paragraph of this posting), then you are smart enough to realize what the truth is. Stuttering is a physiological disorder - all credible, unbiased research tells us that. However, it is a physiological disorder with no known cure. No magic pill to take, no needle injection, no device to plug into body parts, no ancient home remedies and no positive buzzwords we keep repeating to ourselves in order to keep us in denial have proven to be the cure.

Our best bet appears to be therapy with a qualified therapist. That is not the sexy, easy answer that people want to hear. The bottom line is, speech therapy is expensive, time consuming and very hard work. It is much easier to tell people to go get a dog.

I am getting down off of my soapbox now. Have a great Sunday!

New Laws for People who Stutter

2006-03-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

Every fall, Minnesota State University, Mankato hosts the International Stuttering Awareness Day Online Conference. During last fall's conference, Dale Williams, a Professor and Fluency Clinic Director at Florida Atlantic University presented his New Laws for People who Stutter.

Read and enjoy!

Bob Love

2006-03-19T01:45:00.000-05:00

In May, Novelchick, the little one and myself are going to Seattle for a vacation. Novelchick loves it there and I have never been, so when AirTran announced their new service there, I jumped at the opportunity to use my AirTran credits for some free flights.

The flagship Nordstrom's is in Seattle. This reminds me of the story about Bob Love. Bob Love was a basketball player for the Chicago Bulls in the 70's, who also happened to be a severe stutterer. He played his college ball for Southern University where he was a friend of my academic advisor (the wonderful Dr. Harold Joseph) at Clayton State University where I received my undergraduate degree in Accounting. This is where I first heard Bob Love's story.

Bob Love played with the Chicago Bulls in the 70's. He led the team in scoring 7 times, something of an accomplishment considering his teammates included Jerry Sloan, Norm Van Lier and Chet "the Jet" Walker. After a bad back forced him out of the NBA - an injury serious enough that doctors told him he might never walk again - his wife left him, saying as she walked out the door, that she "did not want to be married to a cripple and a stutterer." Though he recovered physically, he found few attractive job opportunities. He eventually landed a job as a busboy at Nordstrom's in Seattle. You can imagine what an embarrassing time in his life this was - from former NBA All-Star to a middle-age busboy. However he performed his busboy duties to the best of his abilities which attracted the attention of a Nordstrom executive, who offered to pay for Love to undergo speech therapy.

As time went on, Love was able to attain a great deal of fluency. Love became fluent enough that in the early 90's, the Chicago Bulls called and offered him the position of Director of Community Relations. In the years since then, he has become a very highly paid promotional speaker. The Bulls retired his jersey in 1994 (he is the second leading scored in their history - behind some Jordan guy) and Love got remarried in 1995 (during halftime of a Bulls - Spurs game).

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2006-03-16T14:35:00.000-05:00

Every St. Patrick's Day, I am reminded of my favorite professional job. During the late 90's I was the Cash Manager for the Fado Irish Pub chain. In addition to working with a great group of people that made the job very fun, professionally, I was able to leave a very strong mark on the direction of the Company.

When I first came onboard, the Company had faced some challenging times in regards to having sufficient working capital to not only sustain operations of the current locations, but to expand, as had been the Company's original goal. I was able to identify and correct some inefficiencies in how the Company handled cash, in addition to developing a MS Excel-based model which very accurately forecasted our cash position. As a reward for solving this issue, I got plenty of free Harp to drink, many pats on the back, but the same mediocre salary, thus a time came when I decided to move on to higher paid/less rewarding and fun postions with other companies.

The other thing I recall when I think about that time in my life was how far my speech has come since then. Like most stutterers, I had serious issues with the telephone pre-therapy, but after going through therapy at the PFSP at the EVMS in Norfolk, VA, I became fairly comfortable making and receiving most phone calls. However, when I worked at Fado, I had a tremendous aversion to 2 things - calling pub managers and answering the main phone line for the corporate office (as everyone had to do in the small office setting). I don't know what it was about each situation, but I would do everything I could to avoid each one.

However, 6 years later, that seems so very strange to me that I would be in a postion that I would avoid such routine tasks. Hopefully, I can attribute this to the continued efforts that I have put into my speech therapy.

Just Because You Can...

2006-03-16T10:58:00.000-05:00

I am always having to remind myself that just because you can say something fluently, does not mean you should. I remember that was one of the last things Ross Barrett told us that Friday afternoon in '95 at the very end of the 3 weeks of intensive therapy at the PFSP at the EVMS in Norfolk, VA. I especially have to remind myself of that when I am out in public and dealing with some of the upstanding minimum wage employees in the retail and dining industry.

Thankfully, I often have my wife with me to give me "the look" if I say something I should not. If you are a single or gay male who does not know what "the look" is, please google "Barbara Fusar-Poli & 2006 Winter Olympics" for an example. (However, I would like to note, that I never wear shirts this puffy.)

I had a few instances in the past week when my wife was not with me to monitor my behavior. One day I was walking in the door of a Target and a woman asked me "if I would like to save 10% by opening a Target credit card?" I politely declined. A few moments later, the same woman asked me the question again as I was heading to the checkout line with my pail of Scoop - Away. I asked her "What do you think happened to me during the 10 minutes since you asked that question before to make me reconsider my decision?" - with perfect targets, I might add. As she mumbled an apology and wandered away, I thought I probably could have declined a bit less sarcastically.

There is a drugstore down the street from our house that has a mandate to attempt to upsale at the counter whatever random featured item is on sale. On my way home from work Monday, I stopped there to get some juice for the little one. As I had anticipated, the clerk asked me if I would like to take advantage of the 3 for $1 deal on Chunky candy bars. As I was expecting this sales pitch beforehand, I told him "this is why I hate coming in here because y'all are always trying to waste my time selling me something I obviously don't want." After saying this - once again with perfect targets - it occurred to me that this poor guy is probably only doing what he has been told to do.

I Love Priceline

2006-03-13T22:50:00.000-05:00

This posting is marginally about stuttering. As I have mentioned before, I have a Refresher coming up at the end of June. Since Novelchick and I have another trip coming up at the end of May to Seattle, I wanted to go ahead and start getting travel plans out of the way. I tend to be a bit obsessive about travel plans.

I love Priceline. I also love BiddingForTravel (although one of the moderators for BFT can be a bit nasty if you don't follow all of her rules about posting). Everyone knows you can use Priceline to bid for travel - specificallly hotel rooms, rental cars and airline flights. Bidding For Travel is a user site where Priceline bidders can post their bid attempts and allow other users to know what hotels in what cities are going for what price.

This afternoon I went ahead and bid $45 per day for a 2 1/2* hotel in the Norfolk Airport zone. I based this information upon what other users have had success with. After a few exciting moments, the acceptance screen popped up and I found out my bid had been accepted for the Holiday Inn Executive Center. From my research on BFT, I knew I would either get this Holiday Inn or a Courtyard by Marriott. I also knew had I of waited later, I might have gotten it for a few dollars cheaper, but it was worth it to me to go ahead and have the room reserved.

I did manage to get some transfer out of the transaction. Immediately after winning the bid, I called the hotel and requested a non-smoking room with 2 double beds (Priceline only guarantees you a room that can sleep 2 adults). In addition, I gave them the number for my Holiday Inn rewards membership program - though I don't get credit for the stay, there tends to be less chance hotels screw me due to my getting the room through Priceline, if they know I am in their rewards program.

Maslow

2006-03-02T15:14:00.000-05:00

The other day I read an interesting blog comparing Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and stuttering. This really interested me as I actually started college as a Psychology major, but switched to Accounting when I realized that was where all of the hot girls were. But I digress.

I believe the greatest benefit that I derived from my therapy at the PFSP at the EVMS in Norfolk has not necessarily been the degree of fluency by itself, but in the power I have over the role of stuttering in my life and the fact that stuttering is no longer this huge obstacle I have to confront in every activity of life. The fluency shaping tools I have learned in therapy have allowed me to redirect the focus I previously had to put towards dealing with my stuttering into other areas of my life.

Let me lead you through an example of what I mean: I was about halfway through my undergraduate courses in college when I went through the PFSP. Before I went to the PFSP, every class I took, the first question I had would be “do I have to give an oral presentation?” For the next few months, that would be the central focus I had in that class – “how was I going to get through this oral presentation – would it take me a normal length of time to finish, or would it take me 15 minutes to say my name?” After going through therapy at the PFSP, I never gave oral presentations much thought – usually, just writing down a few key words and phrases to mention. I knew that with targets, I might not be 100% fluent, but I ultimately had control over how much I did, or did not, stutter.
This newfound ability I had to give oral presentations served me well as I progressed through classes in undergrad and then, finally, on to graduate school where I earned my MBA. Instead of having to waste time focusing on getting through another oral presentation, my focus was on the content of the class itself.

My point is that my understanding of what Abraham Maslow was trying to say was that you can’t be self-actualized if you are forced to expend all of your focus on basic life activities (which fall at the bottom of his pyramid). I would consider the act of speaking in a relatively fluent and efficient manner a bottom of the pyramid activity.

FMSA

2006-02-24T12:57:00.000-05:00

I love my FMSA, or Flexible Medical Spending Account. An FMSA is a benefit provided by some employers in the U.S., where you can have a fixed amount deducted from your paycheck over the course of the year. Then, as you pay out-of-pocket healthcare expenses, you can be reimbursed from the funds in your FMSA.

The benefit to the employee is that the paycheck deductions are not taxed. I am in an approximate marginal 30% tax bracket (i.e. from my expected family yearly income, any marginal increase of 1 dollar will result in an increased tax liability of 30 cents and every marginal decrease of 1 dollar will result in a decreased tax liability of 30 cents). Therefore, any out-of-pocket healthcare expenses that I can filter through my FMSA will save me 30%.

I mention all of this because FMSA accounts are wonderful tools to help a stutterer minimize the expenses of whatever therapy program they may be involved in. The therapy that I am involved in the PFSP at the EVMS in Norfolk is an excellent bargain in regards to the benefit derived, however it is even more of a bargain discounted at 30%.

Why I Blog

2006-02-23T13:49:00.000-05:00

Monday night in my NPCC Small Group, Marla was asking a few people in the group what motivated them to start blogging. Dorky Dad blogs as an outlet for some of his social and political angst. My wife uses her blog as a sounding board for ideas and goals she sets in her aspiring writing career. I have never stated why I started this blog.

Flashback to another Small Group meeting about this time last year when our group had just formed. We were doing prayer requests and I had a long-term prayer request that I my life had been very blessed due to my involvement in the therapy at the PFSP in Norfolk, however I have never given anything back in return. My prayer request was that I did not know what to give back. Yes, I give some money to the EVMS foundation when I can, but what I really meant was I have never given anything back to the stuttering community as a whole.

Occasionally I will search the internet to see what is new in the stuttering community. I am always running across people with negative comments regarding fluency shaping programs. Some comments are actually from people who have had experience with fluency shaping programs, though most are from people pushing their own method, device, agenda, etc. Fluency shaping does not seem to be a therapy sexy enough for most people in today's society who want the miracle cure, magic pill, etc. It seems like the only positive thing I ever read regarding fluency shaping was published by people actually running the programs themselves - hardly material that people can evaluate as being unbiased.

Recently I came across John MacIntyre's blog. John is someone who has just gone through a fluency shaping program in Canada. I found his blog to be very interesting, but what I thought might also be of value to some people would be the same type of account, but from someone who had been through therapy many years before. Possibly the main point of my blog I would like to make is that you can have success with the program many years down the line, and though it does require significant hard work, that hard work can be leveraged for tremendous results.

The Parable of the Talents

2006-02-20T17:14:00.000-05:00

While working on my Bible study lesson yesterday, I came across one of my favorite passages (from Matthew, chapter 25):

The Parable of the Talents
14"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'
21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'
23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

What does this have to do with stuttering?

In my world, pretty much everything!

Weekend Targets

2006-02-20T11:10:00.000-05:00

Novelchick and the little one were out of town over the weekend, hosting a wedding shower for a friend, so I had nobody to transfer with at home the last few days. As a result, my targets seem worse than usual for a Monday morning. Since our North Point Small Group meets tonight, I need to make a concerted effort this afternoon to get back on track. Below, are my action items for accomplishing that:

I have a few external phone calls to make this afternoon, so that will give me an opportunity to exaggerate my targets.
On the drive home tonight, I will listen to the PFSP practice CD.
I will pay extra attention to monitoring full breath while I work at my desk this afternoon, in addition to exaggerating targets while transferring with co-workers this afternoon.

I was reminded this weekend how important it is to set the tone for any conversation I have. Over the weekend, I ate at a few restaurants alone. It has always been my experience that if you want really fast service, eat by yourself. When you are at a table alone, any decent waiter will do their best to get you served and out the door so they can turn the table (presumably to a party with multiple diners and a larger check and tip). Over the weekend, I found myself allowing waiters to dictate the terms of the conversation, which prompted me to rush and push my syllable durations to a speed as to where I could not feel my targets. I need to continue to work on that.

Technology and Transfer

2006-02-17T10:35:00.000-05:00

As technology advances, it seems as though we have fewer opportunities to transfer:

Pizza, flowers, airline tickets, hotel rooms and rental cars are generally easier, quicker and (sometimes) cheaper to order online.
More people are using their cellphone as their primary phone, so when you call someone, you are generally calling them directly.
With caller ID, if someone calls us, we know who they are before we answer
Email in the workplace has gotten completely out of hand - it has gotten so much easier to send someone an email instead of calling them or talking to them in person.

Thankfully, we still have that staple of target transfer, the beloved fast food drive-thru window. Fortunately for those of us who are searching for an opportunity to transfer targets, the fast food resturant industry has not developed a faster, cheaper or more efficient way of providing us with our food that does not involve us yelling into a speaker and waiting for a barely audible response.

Wendy's + AirTran promo

2006-02-15T17:31:00.000-05:00

Monday marked the official end of the great promotion Wendy's and Air Tran teamed up on beginning last November. On every medium and large soda cup, there was a coupon for an Air Tran flight credit. 64 coupons = enough credits for 1 round-trip flight anywhere Air Tran flies.

Since I love to "try" to be cheap, I was all over this promotion. My friend Shoes and I had a friendly competition regarding collecting the coupons, though since he has 3 children to my 1, he had more coupons to collect. By Christmas, NovelChick was getting very tired of seeing Wendy's cups sitting around the house - however she will forget that when she gets to go to Seattle or San Francisco for free.

An added benefit of this promotion was the great transfer experience it became. Over the years in the PFSP, I have become much better at the drive-thru window, however participating in this promotion made transfer more of a challenge than usual. My transfer at the drive-thru speaker generally involved asking if they had the cups, asking if I could buy more than 5 (which was one of the promo rules) and asking that they give me the cups empty. In addition, the Wendy employee always had to ask me obvious questions such as "are you trying to fly somewhere?", which gave me even more transfer experience.

Of couse, had I gone dumpster diving for the cups, as many of the people on flyertalk did, then that would have been a good transfer experience as well as I explained to the police why I was in the Wendy's dumpter at 3 am.

Refresher Countdown

2006-02-13T12:21:00.000-05:00

Similar to other programs, the PFSP at the EVMS schedules "Refresher" programs. A Refresher is essentially a shorter (generally 1 week) review of the full therapy program. The cost for the refresher is approximately 1/3 the full program tuition cost

I am not really sure why I attended my first Refresher in 1996. I did not feel like my targets were as sharp as when I first left the program the previous summer, but I was still very pleased with my fluency. However, I met someone in that first Refresher group who made an indelible impact on the approach I took to my speech therapy. Jim had been in the PFSP program for quite a few years (approaching 20) and had been attending Refreshers for almost as long. What made an impact on me, though, was the intensity he put into his therapy and the Refresher week. Spending the week working with him made me realize that even though I had tried to follow the practice program Ross had sent us home with the previous summer, there was a whole different level that people like Jim played on.

That first Refresher encouraged me to try to attend one every summer - which I have since then, with the exception of 1 year. A few years later I met my wife and she went with me a few times, which helped a great deal in that I always had someone available to transfer with. A few years ago, she was unable to go with me, so I agreed to share a room with a fellow PFSP lifer named Dan from Wisconsin. I had met Dan a few years earlier, and although he is a few years younger than me, he had that same enthusiasm and commitment to the program that I had. Going to Refreshers with Dan the last few years has really helped to push me up to another level in that now, there is really no down time from the program when I am there. I aways have a sense of accountability there, so if I am not monitoring targets 24 hours a day, someone else is aware of that.

Looking at the calender, my next Refresher is in about 4 1/2 months.

Get Some Sleep

2006-02-10T12:09:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, John MacIntyre discussed in his blog the issue of having trouble being fluent when you are tired and sleep deprived. My lovely wife has always told me my fluency declines when I get very tired. I have discussed this with Ross in the past and it makes perfect sense. With all the attention to muscle movement patterns in the PFSP, specifically the diaphragmatic breathing, without giving giving your body adequate rest, you are making it harder on yourself to be fluent.

The idea of getting an adequate amount of sleep and rest is a concept I have a hard time getting my mind around. I have always considered the fact that I was able to get by on less sleep than most something to be proud of. I can't imagine going through my 20's and most of my 30's sleeping 6-8+ hours per night. I don't think I would have gotten as much done if I did. However, now I am in a stage of my life, where at least for the sake of increasing my fluency, I should go to bed at a decent time every night and not feel guilty that I should be doing something more productive with my time.

Chasing The Fluency god

2006-02-07T13:35:00.000-05:00

I have always thought the phrase "chasing the fluency god" was too funny on many different levels. I will let you google the term and find out what it means - I just like to say it every chance I get.

Here is my backstory:

In the early 90's, I was a severe stutterer and struggling college student working 2 jobs to survive. One day while reading the newspaper, I came accross an article on Ross Barrett and the Precision Fluency Shaping Program(PFSP) at the Eastern Virginia Medical School. I requested some information from Ross, in addition to doing some research on my own, and kicked around the idea for a few more years. Back then, the program cost around $3,000 to attend, though to me at the time, it might very well have been $3,000,000. Whenever I would have a bad "stuttering day", I would go home, pull all of the research on the program I had out of a file, look over it, put everything back and wake up the next day and try to forget that my stuttering was a problem.

As 1994 drew to a close, my social life pretty much hit rock-bottom. Though most of my friends, and people I met, seemed to care less how much I stuttered, I withdrew from my circle of friends and worked as hard as possible to avoid all social situations. My life consisted of work, school and Sega Genesis. On New Year's eve of 1994, I made the committment to make a change in my life, and that change meant attending the PFSP program in 1995. When I made that decision, I had no idea how I was going to finance the trip. When I got back to work after the New Year's break (I was working the midnight shift loading trucks at Airborne Express), I was presented with a very unexpected promotion and raise - raise which would allow me to afford the tuition for the PFSP program. In my opinion, that was a "God thing" at work, if ever there was one.

A few months later, in August of '95 (just as my beloved Atlanta Braves were on the path to their only World Series title), I boarded a Valu-Jet flight to Norfolk, Virginia for my 3 weeks of therapy. The 20 days I spent in Norfolk that summer completely changed my life.

Fast forward 11 years, 1 beautiful and wonderful wife, 1 silly and amazing toddler, 3 college degrees, 1 CPA license, 4 cats, 1 beloved dog waiting for me in heaven, a home in one of the most sought after suburbs of Atlanta, a very good job and numerous wonderful friends who have passed through my life since then and I wake up every day and look in the mirror and ask myself, "What the f**k did I ever do to deserve all of this!"